Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

28

Jul

me as a pedestrian:
[catwalks slowly across street as 90 cars pile up behind each other trying to turn; throws modelesque glance backwards over designer shades] [car inches into crosswalk] HOW DARE YOU COME WITHIN FIVE FEET OF ME!? I HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY??? SEE YOU IN COURT YOU CAPITALIST, PLANET-DESTROYING SCUM
me driving:
say your prayers
bussykiller:

witchpop:

when the boys on grindr ask for a face pic i send this

algeabra:

but what are the perks of being a wallflower

pajamaben:

employer: um, your application just says, “my mom is making me do this”?

macaronivevo:

finally

macaronivevo:

finally

(Source: f-u-b-u)

lolerzz:

the good news is that i had time to stop for a frappe

drunktrophywife:

ICONIC

(Source: subtubitles)

THE POWER FLICKERED THREE TIMES

jakeenglish:

theskiesabovelife:

jakeenglish:

IF WE LOSE POWER I’M QUITTING

JUST GIVE ME 20 FUCKIN MINUTES FOR MY CHICKEN NUGGETS TO COOK PLEASE

please

(vegan) I hope your power runs out 

thats fuckin nice and all but the chicken is already in the nuggets. the power going out doesn’t save a chicken. it’s a nugget already. sorry

(Source: lalna)